this is the life that i embrace, this is the world that i create. [entries|friends|calendar] teh_great_decay [ website | myspace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(1 falling into the great decay | falling into the great decay) [16 Oct 2005|01:48am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Brodie - When Im With You ] wow, months ago i never thought i would be even a little happy, i thought i would be miserable. my best friend moving away and summer winding down, i thought i would have nothing left. but i started talking to a wonderful boy. and we hit it off. the first day we hung out i knew something special would become of us. i knew we would last, and this time, finally, would be different than all the rest. the first month, i told him i loved him and that i could see him in the future. wow, talk about rushing into things, i know. but i really felt that way, and i still feel that way. and i know he feels that way about me. two months into this relationship and im still amazed by this boy. i finally met someone who gets me, and understands. he listens and doesnt complain about when i break down and complain about things that really arnt as important as i make them seem. he gets me. he gets how one day i can just hit rock bottom and feel like i can never get back up. he gets that you can totally hate yourself but still be an amazing person to others. he gets it. and he gets me. im really not sure what i could or would do without him. im already depending myself on him. i lost all my friends because i want to devote my free time to him, the one who makes me happy. today was homecoming. i didnt go. i went to adams. it was amazing. i walked in ranting about how my hair looks like a mullet and he says he has something for me, i go in his room and there are flowers on his desk with a card saying FOR MY LIL POOPER! and i got so happy. no ones ever gotten me flowers before, especially on a holiday i wasnt sure if he even knew about. so finally, im amazingly happy, and i want to spend the rest of my days here with this amazing boy who seems to make all my dreams come true, and all my problems disappear for those hours i am with him. ill love him forever. till my time is done. <3. i love you boy. always and forever.

(falling into the great decay) [09 Aug 2005|02:03pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | Fall Out Boy - Of All The Gin Joints In All The World ] so bacially i dont ever use this unless i have bad news. my parents are getting a divorce. im not so sure thats bad news considering my dad hasnt lived here since the fifth of december. my sisters mad about it. my brother couldnt care less. so im the one to pick up my moms pieces, as always, im the adult of the family. i support her. i would wanna brush myself off and move on too. so i do understand, not just because i have to. my brother and sisters opinions dont matter to her b/c its not their dad, its mine. but im fine with it. i never see him anyhow. so i think she said at the first of the year they are gonna get a divorce. i doubt i will feel much different than i do now. basically...kylies moved. i feel weird with out her. i cant go over there anymore just being like WOO KYLIE IM COMING OVER...cause shes not there. its odd. suppose its good for us though cause we are basically all eachother consisted of the past four years. i still love that lady to death and she will always be my best friend ill ever have. because shes helped me stay strong and laugh more than i am meant to. so i am about to head to my boys house. its fun there. in teh ghetto. woot woot. hah. hopefully ill update with good news someday...:). peace kiddddos. <3.

(falling into the great decay) [08 Jul 2005|04:19am] so i havent wrote in this thing since summer started. my life has changed much since then. since then ive been used, stepped on, found who my true friends are, made new friends along the way, learned about myself, stood up for myself, became a better person, stopped crying night after night, learned i can succeed in life, began to believe in myself, became a wee bit more confident, and had an amazing time doing it all. this summer has been good. im never bored, only when i want to be and ive grown so much, its amazing. i love my friends, you know who you are, Kylie, Jordan, Mat, Nick Jones, Sam, Joey. you six kids = life. 4/6 of you also may/already have moved away. Joey lives in Indiana, Kylie may move to Florida at the end of this summer, Nick may be in the process of moving to Chicago, and Sams rents have been talking about moving to Montana b/c they bought land there. Its sad, im growing up and my best friends are spreading out across the U.S. eventually, in due time, ill be them too, ill move away from Ohio. I donno what to think about kylie moving to Florida. Its sad b/c shes been here four years for me and i would of been a mess today if it wasnt for her. I cant do anything but be happy for her b/c she will be happy to be away from all this stress in Pburg. I just donno what im gonna do without my one true same aged friend. Its gonna be weird without her being here, live in the flesh. I <3 you dear and respect everything you do.

(1 falling into the great decay | falling into the great decay) One Week Bitch! [02 Jun 2005|01:19pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | MINERAL! ] W00t tomorrow is my last day of fuckin' freshmen year. it zoomed by. im so excited for summer. Tomorrow (friday) im not sure what im doing, thomas and i might hang out but i dunno. Saturday, thosmas's friend is having a party and i guess he wants me to go but im not totally sure yet. sunday me and thomas are going to the zoo (fuck yaahh) monday and tuesday im going to columbus. wednesday, thursday, friday, maybe saturday im babysitting a child and old lady from 8ish to 4ish for money. then who knows. im so pumped for summer. hopefully this will be a good one. i wanna go camping. and have a fire...soon... keep checkin back for that. Nuggahhh! im tired, im going to take a nap. mhm! <3.

(3 falling into the great decay | falling into the great decay) Bitch ass nig summer. [18 May 2005|08:37pm] im excited for summer...yet...not? Im gonna be stressed yet trying to be having a good time everyday, sadness be washed away this summer so i can have a good 10th grade year Im gonna hate dealing with people everyday so i may go on lockdown sometimes just a heads up, dont freak if i do i just love being alone sometimes helps me keep sane. I think im babysitting the first couple weeks for 100 bucks a week.

(3 falling into the great decay | falling into the great decay) Weekend baby. [15 May 2005|08:52pm] [ mood | Hung Over. ] [ music | The Simpsons. ] I stayed the night at kylies Thursday. This weekend was probably one of the best weekends ive ever had in i dont even know how long. Lemme tell you a little bit about it. Thursday i went to kylies and had a good talk with her. Made me feel closer to her and im glad shes my friend. Cause if i wasnt id probably be dead right now. She actually understands my problems and doesnt treat me different because of them. Friday i came home and was locked out. chilled at my neighbors till around 430ish and went home. Jordan came cause he was supposta get wood for a fire. It rained. Plans failed. Doug and Jordan came over for a bit and acted real funny. I drew on Jordans face, I Left. They Left. I went to kylies and had some drinkies. Passed out on the floor. Went to bed. Saturday HIGHLAND PLAYED!!! they were so good. I had an uber good time. At first i was real bored. But as soon has Highland played i had sucha wonderful time that it made up for my bordness. After that we went to kylies. hah. a wonderful time for once. usually im depressed and sad but i was really happy. Actually felt like people wanted me to be there and talk to me. I was happy. I found a new bedroom in kylies house. pretty good man. Sunday Blah Blah Blah. its okay though. hah. I`m having troubles in the man dept. go figure cause i just suck at this. im never gonna find somethin that makes me happy. But thank you kylie for making me feel like im not such a fuck up about it. Means lots.

(6 falling into the great decay | falling into the great decay) [05 May 2005|07:32pm] so now i cant trust personal stuff in my room around my friends. say bye bye poems of 3 years.

(1 falling into the great decay | falling into the great decay) Summer in now 21 days! [03 May 2005|04:39pm] Last Day of School - June 3rd Columbus - June 7th and 8th ((i think thats the date)) Florida - June 22nt - 28th ((i thinkthats the date))) Kylie Leaves for Chicago - July 1st - 4th Fourth of July Fireworks - July 3rd Fenner Supposta Come In Town - anytime in early July Arizona/California - Late July Temps - August 5th yah im just trying to get myself excited for summer pay no mind.

(2 falling into the great decay | falling into the great decay) Aw Weekend. [27 Apr 2005|06:11pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Comedy Central. ] This weekend was fun. Friday-i came home until six and then went to Jims house. Bunches of people came and then me and Jim went on a walk that lasted a long ol time. But it was fun. When we got back people were all "woah where were you" and stuff. So then we went inside and i messed with Jims computer and stuff. He has a like tall bed thing or w/e so i was under it layed down, and alex then cut my hair! i was all WTF man. So then it was like 11ish and my mom came and got me. me and Jim waited outside, and it was fun and junk. I then went to Kylies and didnt throw up. It was fun, Jeff kept talking about Indigo Blue. hah. It was an awesome night and i had a lot of fun. Saturday-i didnt do much. Basically made food and played Mario Party. Then me and Kylie fell asleep at like 7pm on the couch and i kept waking up about every hour until 12 i got up and got PJs on. Then Kylie woke up and she went upstiars to bed. I wasnt tired anymore so i stayed up for a bit and watched a movie with Kylies mom. Then i went to bed. Sunday- i came home and cleaned/watched movies on Comedy Central. my foot itches. Next Friday i think im going to Jims again. Pumped times four.

(5 falling into the great decay | falling into the great decay) Bye Bye Black Hair. [18 Apr 2005|06:13pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | Weeezer! ] Say bye bye to black hair, well...some of it...i still got it just with orange/blondeness in it. aww shit. so any fuckin way. im all sad and grumpy, down in the dumpy. i donno why. ive learned that photos dont like me anymore. no matter how many i take none of them are good. fuckin camera/face. a kid stopped me in the hall today and he was all "you dye your hair a lot" "ive noticed that latley so i thought i would say somethin" and i was all "shut up mister you have a hot lip ring!" actually i really didnt say that. but if i did. it would be stupid! i cant dye my hair nones more. im gonna grow up to be bald and my husband will be every pissed off that he has to look at me. im all cold. and my hair is bugging me. and my camera makes my face uglier than i ever thought possible. eek. uhh...fuck i donno what im doing tonight. lets see if kylie fear calls may at 7. i would just like to say....PUT THE LIME IN THE COKE YOU NUT. yah that fuckin commercial makes me happy. i think i need to go watch Golden Girls....fuck yah i do.

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